1. Seek God First
2. It’s All About Timing
3. Speaking Clearly With Kindness and
4. Being Willing To Compromise
**If you have not worked through the first four parts, please go back to the previous devotions and follow them in order before attempting this final step.**
Now is the time to enact what may be the most important step:
5. Leaving What Has Passed in the Past!
While this is the final and potentially most important step, it is not the most complicated. Actually, this step is probably the simplest, though you may battle with it recurrently, especially if you have the bad habit of holding past wrongs against people. Remember Matthew 6:14-15:
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
And this is referring to a real and true forgiveness, not just saying you forgive them, but truly forgiving them in your heart. Matthew 18:34-35 bares a strict warning:
“ And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. 35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” (Emphasis mine).
If you are having trouble forgiving someone, you only have to ask God for help. For God promises that anything we ask for that is within His will (and we already know from the previous verses that it is indeed His will for you to forgive others), He will give us. God will help you forgive anyone who has sinned against you. Matthew 7: 7-8 reminds us:
“7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”
So, you have finalized forgiveness of your husband (if it was still necessary) and your problem has been acceptably resolved. So, you should not bring up this circumstance in future disagreements or even general conversations. Yet, it does take time to adjust to any new arrangement of time, activities, behavior, etc. within any relationship, so don’t expect both of you to perfectly follow the agreement initially.
Occasionally in the beginning, a small reminder like, “I am doing my best to adhere to our agreement, it’s been working, let’s stick to it” may be necessary. But, it should not be necessary more than once or twice in the first couple weeks following your agreement. After that, no reminder should be needed.
Be Careful: Don’t let what has passed in the past plague you today or in your future. You can simply enjoy the peace that accompanies faithfully following God’s instructions in working through a problem to a healthy compromise.
In a manner, you can now follow the advice Jesus gave another woman in Mark 5:34, when “he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague.”